.

im fighting for my life to not join any fanzines so i can focus on my schoolwork, but they all look really cool😭

twitter :|

i looked thru twitter and decided to look thru all the carrds people had and. 1) why do so many people have em and 2) why are they giving out their age tffffffff

like im not that old but it was made p clear to me you dont show your age!! like its wholeass age pronouns ethnicity and sometimes triggers

i feel like im just repeating a lot of tumblr posts ive already read but i didnt know just how many kids were doing it


aside from that, twitters vibes are just off. theres way too much discoursey type stuff and like rudeness towards others? if that makes sense?

look im sensitive and hyperempathetic to others emotions, sure, but it felt like such a shit environment when i was scrolling thru some dsmp tags (maybe the dsmp is the problem tbh, i havent looked at many other fandoms on twitter)

ALSO i know i should anticipate dnis with proship on them but like. please just have a little nuance at LEAST

anyways im gonna try and keep off twitter except for when im looking for something specific. bad vibes

javascript

fuck i need to manifest learning javascript. I superrrr want to know it, but like should I be doing this when I'm studying for whats going to be some of the more/most influential exams in my life? idk!

still, itd be so helpful, and I love the idea of being a coder. coolest people.

I want to avoid the pitfall of slowly fading off of this interest, like a lot of my other hobbies, so imma try to remind myself of my goals, and have some fun with cool projects. I think I might try and actually do 'manifesting' and all that spiritual stuff, dont know anything about it but i will try

I also made a cute coding persona a while while back, so maybe I'll bring them back out again, for morale lol. I'll post it on here if I change their design to something thats more than just a mask and a hoodie

sleep

also i should probably sleep/shower now, I promised myself I'd start going to sleep at a reasonable time (to help with my mental health + staying focused in school) and I'm not doing a super great job at it, but I AM improving! problem is I really really wanna redesign my coder persona character. but I'll try and resist the urge lol

shower

okay just spent five minutes sorting out my dreamwidth so I'd have titles for each of my posts, or at least a dot instead of a big thing that says (subject missing)

manifesting me showering now cmon man lets go

sleep

okay im 40 minutes behind when i should've been in bed. and thats honestly p good for me, as long as i dont touch my phone after posting this lol